There is no growth without inconvenience…

*Deep Sigh 🙄* I haaaaaate being inconvenienced…I know most people do…but it causes me extreme frustration and lately minor anxiety. I’m not a perfectionist, but I need things to operate in decency and order, in order for me to feel “on my square”.

I know that things won’t always go as planned, but have you ever had one of those weeks where it feels like the universe is conspiring against you to make you feel nuttier than squirrel poop?! Welp…This girl right here is trudging through one of those, and Sweeeet Lord I’m ready for it to be over! When I say this week was a clusterf**k of minor crazy…Sheeesh!!! And to make it worse…I can’t even blame it on my monthly “lady time”…nope, that’s a whole separate beast on a whole separate week.

I mean…my students, my therapy clients, my therapy licensing board, my content department at work, the drivers on the highway, my clothes, my stockings (no seriously 😩 my stockings) my bank, the movie theater…you name it…they gave me the blues! Thank GOD for a praying husband, encouraging friends, a family group chat, and a dark sense of humor or I’d be sitting cross-legged in the middle of my bathroom floor rocking back and forth, humming “Amazing Grace” (not that there’s anything wrong with that…it’s just not my idea of a party). To say I’m SPENT after this trying week is an understatement.

When I hit rough patches like this, I try and make a point of identifying what is supposed to be learned or changed from this?…what can I take from this and apply to a situation later? What comes to mind is something that a very close friend (who also happens to have been our wedding officiant) said to us at the altar, and in our pre-wedding sit-down session…”There can be no love without inconvenience”.  While the words are a little different than the title…I’m finding that the concept is the same. One grows emotionally and mentally when working through major and minor inconveniences.  In this case…this week has forced me to “re-route” and recenter both emotionally and mentally.  How do I fix thee?… Let me count the ways…

• My students – they have been increasingly oppositional and “off-task” this week and initially I internalized it as them just having an issue with me.  As result, I became unintentionally defensive and a little impatient with their teenage antics.  The truth is…it’s close to holiday time, nearing the end of the quarter, and the seasons are changing…and while that may not mean much to many…to teachers its significant. What I forgot to process is…that its significant for students too. SOOOOO I need to get out of my own head and be mindful of what they may need during this transitional period because they essentially take their cues from me.
• My therapy clients – their lives don’t stop because I’m having a rough week…in fact they seem to encounter even more issues when I’m “off-center”; requiring more than I, at times, feel I am able to give, and I find myself wondering if I’m even helping.  However, they trust me to be open, honest, and effective in order for them to progress…that openness and honesty includes letting them know that I can identify with their daily stressors because I am experiencing my own…which helps me ultimately be more effective.
• My two jobs – they both require a level of responsibility, diligence, focus, and punctuality from me that I unintentionally, but knowingly slack on sometimes.  My time management has always been an area of weakness for me and procrastination is the result.  The inconveniences I experienced at work this week could have been avoided on various levels if I had been more diligent and respectful of my own time and others’…I am responsible for fixing that and I will.
• LOL…My clothes and my stockings (yes my stockings) – They don’t fit…there’s no fancy way to say that. However, the cause of that is my poor eating and health habits.  That sounds minor, but it affects me in a major way. I take on so many things that I often forget to care for myself in minor ways, like monitoring what I eat and how my lack of focus on increasing healthy life habits is affecting my weight, which in turn affects my body, which in turn affects my attitude toward myself, which affects my attitude toward everything else.  This week was a breaking point, my stockings were too tight and caused my feet to swell, freaked me out, and added to my stress…long story short…Now I’ve gotta take care of me physically, mentally and, emotionally.

All of this to say…these minor inconveniences this week caused me major frustration, anxiety, and made me feel a little defeated.  Usually when I feel this way I often essentially and emotionally “put my back against the wall” and fight like it’s me against the world, which in turn makes me defensive, snappy, and unfocused.  I’m currently rerouting my thought process regarding inconvenience and was able to find opportunities for growth.  Next week I’ll have a new go at it and see how much better I’ll fare with the changes I identified as needed this week.  If you find yourself smack dab in the middle of the kind of week I’m having…pause, take some mental inventory, and ask yourself what you can learn in the midst? how can you grow? what don’t you know? Hopefully, you’ll find some room from growth while you’re groaning! I sure did!

-MyLifeAsTheWyfe