6 whole months…Sheesh! 184 days whole days?! I’ve been a Mrs. for 1/2 a year now and I’m still floating…It’s crazy!!!. I’m still a giggly, googly-eyed girl with a crush on an adorable boy who gave me his heart and his last name to seal the deal. I checked in on 100 days in, but 6 months feels like an official “milestone”. Wow…I really got married! My enthusiasm may be over-the-top for a few cynics and otherwise unhelpful folk…lol…but when I say I’ve paid my dues….HONEYYYYY….I👏🏾 HAVE 👏🏾PAID 👏🏾MY 👏🏾DUES, and will smile as long as I wanna and I have been.
This time (12:30 pm) on July 15, 2018, the mayhem was full underway at this point… I was delirious from no sleep (stayed up until 4 doing that da*n seating chart…woke up at 8); the seamstress was MIA with the remaining bridesmaids’ dresses (not answering her phone) somewhere between NJ and MD (wheew chile I’m boiling all over again); I couldn’t find my foundation that I’d purchased the day before (somebody make a mall run!!!); the venue was being difficult about starting set-up “so early” (after we had already gotten the Ok the day before); I was walking in circles trying not to call the Mr. and meltdown (mission failed, I called, he answered, I dissolved into a puddle of tears); and Now it was starting to rain! Whhhhy Jesus?!
Talk about panic…I was full on hysterical on the inside…while trying to keep my cool on the outside. My bridal army saved me that morning with prayers, laughter, and patience…I swear I thank GOD for them. I was repeatedly assured that one day I’d be able to laugh about it all…and you know what…they were right.
The “How’s Married Life” and “Do You Feel Any Different’s” have died down now. The photos have been oohed and ahhed over (still waiting on my album tho). My dress is tucked away somewhere, having yet to be dry-cleaned (don’t judge me…there’s a good reason…blame it on the seamstress).
Now I have more time to reflect. So here goes…For my friends and readers who are “Bride’s to Be” here’s what I know…
- DO NOT RUSH!!! It’s better to put your day off for a few months than to try and squeeze it into a small window…disaster will ensue!
- There will be soooo much self-induced pressure to make your day “perfect”…Do NOT Drive Your Self Crazy…It’s disrespectfully easy to do so
- There are sooooo many ways to save money…I found a ton! I’ll do a separate post for that
- Your guest list will grow, capping it will be hard, people will be upset, and that will be ok. Set a number. Stick to it. Operate within it. PERIOD. This part can be a separate blog post in itself (*thinks to self* Hmmmm…maybe I’ll do a “Bride-to-Be series“)
- Stand firm on what your vision and expectations are for that day from vendors AND wedding party participants. The only dictators of decisions should be practicality, your budget, and you and your partner’s wishes…PERIOD!!
- The day will go by in a blur!!! No seriously…you’ll look up and it’s starting and then it’s over…and you are exhausted. So TAKE IT IN
For all my friends and/or readers who are “Newlyweds” and “Not So Newly Wed” here’s what I’ve learned and/or am gaining a deeper understanding of…
- Knowing how to be a team player is SOOOOO essential…Thank GOD for organized sports as a kid! There is an art to “adjusting” for the good of the team without seeing it as a “sacrifice”. Viewing adjustments as sacrifices can plant a seed of resentment if you are not careful
- Maintaining some semblance of “individuality” is the secret to “sanity”. While the Mr. is absolutely my BFF (we have fun doing a whole bunch of nothing together), still hanging out with family, friends, and yourself is a MUST…so you don’t drive each other nuts. I love that both he and I can hang out with our friends apart from each other without the other feeling left behind.
- Date days are ESSENTIAL!!! While settling in to “married life is comfortable, and that “marriage bubble” is a real thing; “Dating” your other half still gives the vibe of being courted, tended to, and enjoyable to be around. My husband will always be my “boyfriend” too! That’s my Bew!
- COMMUNICATE! If you already do this well great. BUT…forever is a looong time. Little “annoyances” can turn into verbal “Full Blown Bar Brawls” if you allow yourself to ignore too many “little” things. If face to face communication isn’t your strength…text…carefully, or email is an option…just to broach the subject at least. From “To puppy or not to puppy” to “when to start trying for kids”, are all conversations that can go horribly wrong if communication is a problem
- Be considerate!! You’d be surprised how many people find themselves still making “mini” single decisions ranging everywhere from spending “their” money to making weekend plans. While you’re still your own person I can’t stress enough how decisions are unconsciously viewed with a different lens once you’re officially married.
- PATIENCE. PATIENCE. PATIENCE. No one is perfect…and we ALL always have room for growth. I am always one to stress that “when you agree to marry someone you agree to take them as they are at that moment in time”. However, I am also an advocate of letting time mold minds and make magic. Take your forever one day at a time…and enjoy what’s here while you wait.
At the end of this post, I find myself smiling and wrapped up in the accomplishment of 6 months to the day. I can’t wait to get home and snuggle my bear (he’s sick) and look forward to day 185 of forever. Until next time I hope you enjoyed your peek into ~My Life as the Wyfe~