To “B” or Not to “B”…That is the question…

Though I talk a lot…I’m not overly “social”, so this “quarantining quandary” was set to be a breeze for me. I knew there’d be a bumpy day here and there but I was and am fine with the concept. I was prepared to be a lil restless, a lot sleepy, and less than motivated to do some things. What I was NOT prepared for was the moodiness. Chiiiiiiiile…

This week has been a rough one…kinda…but it’s to be expected. I have several looming deadlines, a lot of time, and only a smidgen motivation. But today…TUH-DAY…. Honeeeey…today has been a day! Today I was agitated with work, the weather, social media, the innanets, my weight, my workload, my scatteredbrain, my earphones (yes even my dang earphones), the mister (for a brief second), the puppy (for a brief second)…just EVERY /$&!?* THING. I found myself wanting to B*tch about it; I mean full blown on the verge of exploding…but didn’t. When I felt it bubbling to the surface I found myself asking…To “B*tch” or not to “B*tch” that is the question?

As many of you know, I’m a mental health therapist and a teacher, and often those roles require me to rationalize minor to monumental things. As sucky as it is…I sometimes have to do that for myself as well. So, I now found myself sitting here thinking…”If you zap out…who or what do you direct it at?…for what specific reason?…what will it resolve?…how will you feel afterward?…& WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! LOL…I seriously had this convo with myself.

I then had to remind myself that not only am I sharing space with my Mr. & my morkie who are also dealing with a “new normal” (I know the puppy is ready for us to get out…LOL); I’m also operating in a mindframe that is mimicking the reality that I’m “finally able to relax since I’m forced to work from home”, when in actuality, I’m working harder than I ever have before.

After that major mental match…I then asked myself…When this happens again (I came to the realization I feel this way at least once every two weeks not attributed to PMS) how I’ll recognize the signs and redirect myself?

As I mentally perused through each of these questions and realities, I forced myself to identify what my issue was with each of the annoyances I encountered today?…how I may have contributed to my annoyances?…and which ones were in my control to…well…control.

Turns out…This is my body and my mind’s way of signaling fatigue via frustration. I’ve been eating bad, sleeping worse, and staring at screens for two months straight…I am- for lack of a better term-Crashing & Burning… Who knew?! LOL!!! And I know I’m not alone in this.

SOOOOO…for my fellow mandated regular life refugees…here’s a few tips to try when your day/week/ is getting “trying”:

    • Prioritize your tasks into 1 -3 days if you can
    • Be honest with yourself about what your mental, physical, or emotional limitations are at that time and operate accordingly
    • “Unplug” for a bit from work, phone, TV, social media, etc
    • Be honest with your mate or whoever you are sharing space with about how you’re feeling. If they know you well enough, they’ll notice you’re “off” anyway and may internalize it as an issue with them…which can create a whole new conflict
    • Take a walk
    • Read something “light”
    • Take a dang nap!

Take it easy on yourselves y’all…this “new normal” is hella abnormal and most of us are feeling some version of “upside down”. Be honest with yourself…be gentle with yourself…be willing to be a different version of yourself. I know for sure how I think, move, and act will not be quite the “same” when life assumes some semblance of our previous “normal” and knowing when To “B” or Not to “B” I’ll need to navigate that new era more than I ever have. Until Then…Hang in there…These are my thoughts in this ~Life as a Whyfe~

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